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私に時間の残ること

my time remaining

11/30/09 05:28 pm - f yes!

*drains evening mug of tea in triumph*
i just got a letter telling me i won the year 11 biology prize. i think any other subject (maybe not art or english but i bet there are better people in those subjects) and i'd not have been this pleased. but biology is one of my best two subjects now and everyone moans about it but i love it, and now i feel really happy because i was obviously good at it toooo (i got a good grade in it, but it was so unexpected to get a letter - my friends were talking about prizes for food tech and music today and i couldn't think of any i'd have won - that it's really made my day!).

and it was a pretty good day anyway. life just gets better. there's no point in being a mopey person, i feel good to the extent that this won't jinx it. like it would anyway. :DDD

i spent lunch laughing my head off with joe. fourth lesson we had a girls vs. boys chem quiz and won ourselves a huge bar of chocolate :DDD which we proceeded to eat ALL OF. well, we shared some period 5. but we ate a lot of chocolate. heh. then i went to nick's and hung out for a bit, which was cool, before catching the bus. the driver was like "IT'S YOUR TURN TO DRIVE," "DON'T WORRY IT'S AUTOMATIC" so i went to take the keys and he was like "...kidding." epic times.

xmas shopping is well underway. normally i am full of ideas and this year i think there's so much else going on, i'm a bit fraught ^^ but i have some presents i am WAY pleased with bought already, and i know i'll manage to find some good things for everyone else. i want to get my gran a beret. i'm sure she could pull it off. she probably doesn't WANT a present - in fact she asked me for moar photos for her scrapbook, but that's so easseee - but i'd like to give her a stylish hat. my dad, meanwhile, WANTS a hat. my mother bought him many hats over the years and he wears them all terribly in public, so the gauntlet has been passed to me.

ahem, now to cram for tommorow's biology test. oh god, what a contrast to the above. well, i have my reasons - this test was SPRUNG and considering we have modules for our AS levels in january, i already had revision planned and this DOESN'T FIT. DOESN'T FIT, i tell you. i guess it will do me good. yay, life!
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11/29/09 04:34 pm

ugh, i just wrote an entire entry about my weekend and pressed 'submit', upon which it deleted itself and told me 'must provide text entry'.
i am not writng it all out again -!
made a magazine and pinned it to a telegraph pole late on friday night, talked to chaz & nick; went riding, to my gran's birthday party & out for a road trip with alex, dave and edd on saturday; went to my aunt and uncle's today, ikea and home to get started on lots of homework. started playing beqanna again on impulse, with interstate & reckoning ^^

11/27/09 08:46 pm - beatle mania!

just some shots of calic & vee...




the bunny suit was made by my mother, out of vee's 'christmas fabric', vee looks srsly cute imho, but occasioanlly murderous (while my mum cleared away her sewing machine, vee was posed with an armful of matches >.>). calic's shirt was made by me, his new look is very casual ^^

i found out about a band called hum for the first time, who i'm liking a lot. apparently they recruited their guitarist by playing a rush song out of a window and asking the guy playing along outside to join the band. i imagine it didn't really happen in such a guitarist honeytrap style, but i'd like to imagine it did. rush are one of my alltime favourites and i'd like to think if i were to loudly play 'the trees' out of my bedroom window, people would flock outside. (the zeitgeist must have passed - that's the only reason why they wouldn't!). this week's new music picks include mercury rev, riotgod, electric sheep, spock's beard and penguins project. i'd also like to enquire; how did my parents bring me up to not know a single beatles song? did they censor my childhood? until this year, i didn't know any beatles songs.

school's been good the last few days, yay! we have to do a project on human nature in RS in groups, and since sarah left the class my 'group' is just nick and me. our project is on 'human nature & god', which has so far lead to a downward spiral of nietzsche. which makes me feel so cliche. in trying to find more material i get marx, and a quote that i half remembered: "we collect our fear and turn it into a god." well, googling this, it's a quote from a spoof squared - in 'barry trotter and the unauthorised parody', mr, trotter reads it from 'existentialism for beginners'. oh dear... we have two more hours class time to work on it though and i'm actually really enjoying it. we also found an essay by an 8 year old about god being very busy and always with him when the big kids threw him into the deep end of the swimming pool, which seemed both sad and good.

let's hear something pointless... my hands are warm on the thumb-side and fade to freezing cold on the little-finger side (better than being known as 'suzie coldhands' in general, though :D). and finally, i've started work on the website for 'THEGROUP', ally, joe, nick & i decided we wanted to write columns & reviews. we have SO MANY projects, heh, from hound of the d'ubervilles to subliminally messaging our school's entire student body to this. i've made the basics of the layout, it's good to get back into coding & learn some CSS that i never understood before.
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Current Music: Spock's Beard

11/22/09 09:49 pm - LAZY SUNDAYS ARE WIN.

I just got my parner for the GJF seecrit santa :D Now for the excitement/panic/frantic rush to post/waiting.... I mentioned I wanted to do it, then didn't sign up officially in time but was included anyway (yay, go Manda!). MMM what to make/buy/send? I have the other secret santa with my friends too, in which I have Ally - i'd like to get her something pretty, but it's just finding the thing...

Today I had a lazy day, I think I'm fighting off a cold (my friend just had a flu jab, so has probably given us all flu or something). I did some homework, started reading a fanfiction which Cassandra Clare wrote before the Mortal Instruments (it's really good! from the description, i thought it sounded a bit dubious, but it's actually good fun to read) and started making Calic another t-shirt. Sarah came over for a while (she drove herself. I'm mucho-impressed.) so we could go over some chemistry, because she transferred to the subject so late on. My mother made Vee a jumpsuit. I kid you not. It has built-in feet and a hood with ear holes; it's red with gold splatters. It sound ridiculous, I know, but she's capable of killing you in your sleep if you say so, so deal with it.

I like writing about my days :) There will be photos soon, of Vee and Calic, promises.
(OHSHIT, haircut on tuesday >>>.>>> this is only such a big deal because....?
if i cut it short, will i pull it out more or less?)

Sorted: my mum's xmas present, Sorcha's birthday present, most of Sarah's xmas present.



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Current Music: Mr Big!

11/21/09 09:50 pm - it's november 21st, so what movie am i posting about?

today i went to see new moon with ally, joe and nick. their main objective was to have a laugh, so i picked up on this; i didn't really want to see the movie but at least it was a trip out. i met up with them pretty quickly and we couldn't get into the 3 o'clock movie, so we booked for 4 and were told to turn up early. we did but it wasn't really necessary, we could have been later and still got seats together. (i didn't manage to do any shopping but it didn't really matter anyway, i guess).

my friends all managed to get a lot of laughs out of it, luckily they weren't too noisy (i wanted us all to have fun, but i knew i'd have been upset if i was a real fan and people ruined it for me). lots of people seemed to find it funny though; personally, i thought there was just too much drama. it's probably what i'd pick out as my problem with the books, now that i'm older - at risk of sounding like a hater bandwagon person - the endless scenes of bella being told how bad people are for her, and how obsessed she is with edward. i mean, i have friends in serious relationships who seem a bit obsessed with their boyfriends. i know i mention my friends and boyfriend a fair bit in my LJ, but in public i'm uber wary of seeming obsessed. they've made it into almost a character trait for bella. the sad face closeups were getting a bit much. in the end, i was laughing along with them ^^

we had to leave early, because we realised the last bus would have gone with out us! i could have stayed to the end and got a lift with other people, but we were all meant to go back to joe's and i didn't want to miss that. it was a shame i thought but it didn't really matter and the bus trip home was a real laugh. i went to nicks' to eat tea, meaning to go to joe's after. suddenly, however, my sister turned up to tell me our mother was waiting - they were way earlier than i expected, which casued a bit of a mishap. oh well.

because i just had a chat with chaz on the phone, i miss him lots and it was really good to catch up! we talked guitars, morals, dreams and sleep :D

i've been looking at guitars too :DD because i was feeling masochistic, i looked up the yellow ibanez. did i post this already? whenever we see it in a guitar shop, i say to nick: "look, that yellow ibanez..." the other day he told me he wants a yellow guitar. in fact, he wants a yellow ibanez. OH MYGOD, subliminal messaging to works! anyway, i've made this argument public now. much like he points out guitars he likes as ones i should buy, it's happened in reverse. if i had enough, i'd totally buy that guitar. by guitar standards (owch) it isn't even that much. i just don't want to buy my guitar mostly out of gift money, i want to save and earn more. who knows what will happen. i looked at some other brands too and i'm liek, mm, yellow ibanez...

(don't know if i want jumbo frets though. and apprently restringing it is hard because of the mechanism around the strings. but in a world where i was richer, i'd buy it, and take anyone who said i couldn't).

(p.s. nice riding lesson on whiskey, now to buy my sister a birthday present!)



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11/20/09 08:09 pm

i'm feeling strangely positive!
today's post is full of nice things (i know i said i'd stop posting. i did. but sometimes, it feels good to keep a record!).

so today at lunch time there was a children in need gig in the school hall. when we arrived, there was a band called "<*insert band name here>" playing, which didn't seem like a good sign. until we realised they were playing prodigy on two ukeleles and a set of drums. and something strange and out there. it was honest to god amazing! and *then* i noticed that one of the boys' ukeleles looked strangely home-made... so we asked him and he said it was. they were all about 12 or 13 and playing home-made eletric ukeleles and sounding freaking awesome.

they were followed by the band of my sister's crush, who weren't as impressive. i've heard them before and they sounded better; today, the guitar was too quiet and their choice of songs isn't exactly my taste, although i wouldn't downrate them for that! finally, fear of falling played, including their new song. i'm not sure where fear of falling are going, they all have such different taste now (prune really gets going but afterwards admitted he hated one of the artists they covered and played the wrong version of another song, katie and sarah called it their worst ever gig and the drums are always really, really much louder than everything else). they do sound good but i wish there was more competition with bands at our school, not just fear of falling then a handful of much younger/newer acts.

this weekend we're all going to see new moon >.> i did read all the twilight books and although i'm loathe to be one of those people who jumped on the 'hate twilight' bandwagon, i don't actualy desire to see this movie at all. on the other hand, it'll be all anyone talks about for a while and i'd like to be part of the trip. i'm going to miss our next 'trip', because we'd decided to go to a pub dinner on the day of the sixth form ball :D and it turns out it's my turn with the councelling lady that day. i need to do some shopping too and if i'm feeling daring maybe i'll go look at guitars. my sister told me off for playing her other guitar yesterday ("if you're going to take over my guitars, then don't take over both of them."). i can't wait to move out! more realistically, i can't wait to have my own guitar.

(chaz, it was a nice suggestion you made, but that guitar looked horrible. it was like a fake fender strat in the colour of mildness. sorry man).

this weekend!
[]go shopping for
-pyjamas
-xmas presents
-white edging
-leopard fabric ^^
[]go to film + joes
[]do homework
[]write trip article & gig article for school paper
[]help sarah with chemistry?
[]make the zine?!
[]finish calic's outfit & take some photos
[]online xmas shopping
[]rs essay
[]write things
[]learn css

you know what's a lovely song? "we stay behind", by rasputina. or "a retinue of moons/the infidel is me." i got 'a perilous world' and it's such an amazing album.
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11/19/09 05:57 pm - october nineteenth.

today, we did dissection in biology class! it was great. first, some of us watched jasmine and james dissect the one pair of lungs we had, because they'd learnt how to do it on the school's 'fun day' (i wasn't there lol). it was really interesting, and we were also able to see bits of the diaphragm and stomach. its whole life that sheep had a little flap on its diaphragm and no-one ever knew! anyway, lauren and i then got to dissect a heart, which we'd done before but was still really really interesting. the smell is rather hard to get off my hands though...

i had another argument with joe and nick, which was really bad. i don't like to dwell on the bad things and i'm trying to look at this like, i stuck up for myself which was good. as i mentioned before, joe is really christian, and his house is full of religious CDs and things. well, ally, who is joe's best ever friend/bitching partner (hehe) put one of these CDs on and we were joking about it because it was called "WOW Worship" and meant to be like a Christian "NOW that's what i call Music." i joined in a bit, but not nearly as much as the others - i've always been really careful not to be rude to joe about his religion. then as we were clearing up later someone made another joke and he said "you know, i could get really annoyed about this." he went on to say "like caitlin did the other day," and said i "ignored them for an hour." well, actually, guys, you really hurt my feelings and i didn't feel like playing mario kart and laughing at everything for a while after you had a go at me, but i didn't ignore you. so i said, "i didn't ignore you, i was upset, and you had had a go at me." they said that what i was saying was a blatant lie, and when i said it wasn't, they just took the piss - "someone on the INTERNET told you, it's a LIE," and insisited they were right. how do they even know? it just felt so bad that after i've listened to joe tell me i'm going to hell, i should go to his church, evolution isn't real etc, that he can just say "there's no PROOF" to things i talk about and be rude about things i believe. and that both of them would rather get all annoyed about me being upset then just let go their conviction they must PROVE THEY'RE RIGHT when they can see that they're actually hurting my feelings, and bring it up again... to prove that i'm uptight or something? no, guys, i just don't think that you have the right here. i had to go because my lessons were on a different site, so i just said it seemed bad they didn't take what i believed in seriously, and they were all "what are we doing wrong?"

it's not normally like this, obviously not with nick and normally not with joe. that hurt, guys.

i may not feel that my mum and i get on so well these days, but she did something sweet today. she had a paper bag and she said "i'm not sure this is something i can do secretly... here's some red fabric to make vee a santa outfit and some black for a coat for calic." the red has gold built in and the black a sort of steampunk design. so nice of her...

finally, i need to decide on a hair cut! partly i want to grow it long, wear it with some of my natural curls and some added in, and my normal straight fringe, but at school almost every girl has long hair and i don't want to be one of the crowd. i also need to stop pulling it out, and i think having it shorter might help with this most. looks like i might be going back to short at the back, gradient to long at the front, but i'm open to new ideas... new look on tuesday, yay.

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11/18/09 07:56 pm - merangue ^x^

tommorow is my gran's 80th birthday, and she did a special tea when she came over to cook for us tonight. i didn't even have any seconds and i feel so full >.>

i want to finish decorating my room. over the summer i got rid of my bunkbed and storange units, and now i have a wardrobe, fold-down desk with drawers, an old blue dresser, a bookshelf and my bed. only, the bed is the mattress part of my bunk left on the floor. i don't have a mirror either, just somebody else's propped up in my wardrobe!
anyway, i decided i want to get my bed, really soon. my mum did her usual thing of sounding really pissed off that nothing's happening about it - but i can't go out and buy a bed by myself, can i?! i've been thinking about it more and more, and i'm really keen on the idea of getting a much bigger bed. my room isn't large, but i had the idea because at my dad's i chill out on my bed loads and it'd be cool to have a massive bed to lounge on. it would double up as a sofa and a workstation, and i could put the mirror over it near the feet (so i can't see it at night, but i can sit on the bed and get ready to go out) because as it is, there's nowhere for a mirror to go. my mum doesn't think it'd fit... i always make things fit!

finally...

Name: Raphael Johnson
Age: 18
Occupation: Sound Technician
D.O.B.: 17th October
Appearance: red hair (shaggy, long bangs), 6”1, slender but not skinny.
Dress style: slightly flamboyant and feminine; emphasises his figure, but not overly; unique; likes skinny leggings, over-long shirts, orange, purple, green, red; hair might be dyed; has been known to wear a little make-up; doesn’t take himself too seriously; no particular group or subculture.
Character: exuberant, decisive, hard working, compassionate, somewhat reckless, determined, loyal, optimistic.
Interests & hobbies: mechanics, music, musical equipment & software, electronics.
History: with a name like that, it was inevitable that Raphael would be noticed by the less savoury members of high school. To avoid having to spend time with a group of immature bullies, he took to hanging around with a group of older goths who introduced to more extreme forms of rock music than he was already interested in. Coupled with his great interest in technology and electronics, this enabled Raphael to tell the school careers officer exactly what he wanted to be at age sixteen: a roadie. In the end, he went one better – when his friends left school and formed a band, he waited until his exams were over and took to the road, setting up equipment, fixing aged amplifiers and even getting the tour bus going when (inevitably) it broke down between gigs.

i worked it all out last night - he isn't actually a mechanic!
lauren saw one of my drawings (on chem notes :)) today and was like "so cute! who's that?" he wasn't actually a character, but i ended up telling her more about characters and bjd anyway ^^

mm finally, my old layout was "expresso at midnight" if i want to change back, but this one's nice and adaptable so i probably won't.

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11/17/09 06:13 pm - suddenly...

...i feel light and giggly.
i felt like i had such a crappy day >.>
in the morning, the head of sixth form came and observed our biology class. lauren and i thought maybe *SOMEBOY* complained about our teacher, because he's always making rude comments in class (the boy, not the teacher). i mean, yes, i would like it if we could do harder work - today we spent a lesson working on a task i'd completed the lesson before, and writing out a dictated paragraph. but there are lots of people who are barely keeping up, so it's not like the teacher has much of an option does he? you could just go and ask for extra work, if you're that concerned.
so, feeling sort of crappy, i met up with nick and joe. we had a free and lunch break, and it started hilariously - there's this guy we joke has a 'man crush' on nick, and he sort of went in for a hug and then came up with a big excuse when it didn't work out ^^ so we giggled all the way back to joe's house. but then they started teasing me about being a vegetarian, and i just wan't in the mood! seriously! i'm feeling so worked up over my parents, that it just ruined the time for me. in maths, i felt so bad about it all, and ended up talking to lauren all about my mum. i'm determined i'm going to be a happy person. my happiness will rub off on other people around me.
in last lesson i was nearly in tears. i never used to cry in school. sarah's quit RS class, so i was just sat with nick, and after most of the lesson i felt a bit better. and now i feel much better; probably because...
...every day, our bus takes a left turn onto the main road into the village, and today it took the left turn. that isn't the bus route or anything but it goes past these old old houses and a beautiful way, and comes out at practically the same place. ever since the bus came through the village i've wanted it to take this route home. so there i was, nearly asleep, and i look up - and the bus driver, last night before he goes away for a week, has taken this route. the headlights light up the hedges and fences and houses against the liquid blue sky, like the photos chaz's dad takes by leaving his cameras on long exposure at night and periodically lighting up the foreground with mega lamps. it was amazing. we saw a cat and a rabbit, too, and it made me feel so good about things again.

also, i have a new character.
i'm normally awful at thinking of characters. even calic and vee don't have proper characters; i'm planning to re-invent calic and make vee new things, because they were dolls before they were 'people', if that makes sense. but this morning, i woke up, and i had a new character!
when i woke up, he had a dumb name though. i just saw this flash of him in my mind as i got out of bed, and his name. which i'm not sure will work at all...
name: raphael! oh no!!
gender: male
age: 19?
occupation: mechanic
appearance: shaggy red hair with long bangs, takes care of himself when not at work, stylish, feminine
character: loyal, exuberant, happy, determined, compassionate, slightly reckless, hard working (he needs more flaws to be realistic, i know...)
history: i don't know yet! i spent lots of today thinking about why he would be a mechanic, but it suits him. i'd like to suggest he's clever enough to do an intellectual job, but likes the simplicty of the maths and engineering in mechanics, as well as the satisfaction of fixing things. i don't like doing family backgrounds, somehow >.>

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Current Music: skeletal family

11/16/09 05:56 pm

  • I STARTED WRITING HTML AGAIN
  • I WROTE SARAH DESSEN SOME FANMAIL
  • WE DREW FOR THE SECRET SANTA AND I HAVE ALLY (if she has to leave the country still, I promise here to mail her a gift for Christmas).
  • I WANT TO MAKE DOLL CLOTHES AGAIN.
  • I COULDN'T BOOK MY HAIRCUT BUT I WILL
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11/15/09 09:53 pm - Presents :3

I just bought Calic a new wig. He's been wearing the blonde one with braids for a long time; it's time to experiment with some new looks!
Plus, I'd like to get back into taking photos of them - since JCC, I don't think I've taken a single picture. It's sad; I shouldn't let one event damage my love for something! I'll wait for a nice day and make him some proper clothes and we'll think about bringing home that girl doll (my mum/dad/grandparent are all clamouring to help pay for my guitar, but I want to pay for that myself and I mentioned them joining together to buy me a MiniFee instead... uh oh!).

Anyway... Nick asked me yesterday if I'd started Christmas shopping yet, and I could honestly tell him "Yes!". Even if it was only on Friday. I've bought Sarah a book (Just Listen by Sarah Dessen, it has to be one of my favourites and I think she'll love it too!). But I have lots more to buy and I'll be budgeting again. Babysitting isn't such a regular job. I'm surprising low on ideas this year. It's my sister's birthday in less than a month too and I haven't got her anything yet! She likes oversized vintage jewellery, the type there's plenty of on Etsy, and cute stuff. I want to buy her something she'll keep using, now she's starting to go out much more and stick with these girlfriends. They're the kind of stylish girls I wouldn't go near in a million years, but I'd like her to have something that she'll want to show her friends and be pleased with.

And after that, there is of course... Christmas! Like I said, I have so much still to buy. And I'm out of cassettes, so I have to somehow acquire some more. I think Amazon sell them; I'll get some after I shop for much more necessary things (like pajamas. See below...!). And my dad's birthday. He's called Noel for a reason... (because he's cool. Not because his birthday was 25.12!).

Yesterday, I was two hours on a bus, travelling about thirty miles to a town with guitar shops we hadn't visited before. No, not for me ^^ this was more AMP QUEST. This has been going on for almost a year now... but I should say HAD been going on. Because yesterday, three guitar shops in a whole new county later, Nick finally bought a new amp. We've only been trawling guitar shops with Chaz for like, 11 months. No more talking to Phil in the Amp Room. No more waiting with Dave outside the dark guitar shop at the edge of town (well, not as part of the AMP QUEST anyway). As we walked back to the bus, disenhearted by how late I was and how the people in the second shop were a bit rude, the rain and hunger, we happened across a little guitar shop. We realised it was the one my dad mentioned and went in. Well, they had the nicest atmosphere of any shop EVER. And they had two amps very high up on the list - a Marshall one and the Blackstar one that the guys played well back at the start of the Quest. Well, it was love...! A really nice guy wrapped it up waterproof for us because we mentioned we had so far to go (he asked if we had a car, lult) and then put it back in the box, cut a hole for the handle, and taped it up. We carried that amp in turns more than twenty miles home across two cities. It weighed 14.5kg. It got us into conversation with a guy who claimed to have played at Reading festival, a man in a yellow coat who requests gig tickets (and I'll make sure he gets some! Yellow Coat Man, Express Bus, November 14th...) and his friend, an elderly man who failed his driving test after a massive number of lessons, apparently. Oh, re:pajamas... we were too tried to shop or see a movie in the end. And the amp needed playing through.

And it sounds amazing. I'm so happy so much music happened this summer. I'm working on learning 'Closer to the Heart' by Rush, but I played the A5 chords as As and now have to re-learn it. It's all good..
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Current Music: Spinerette

11/13/09 08:34 pm

  • ELS, HOW'S UNI GOING?
  • I'M ALREADY LOOKING AT CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR EVERYONE (it really isn't too early)
  • TOMMOROW I'LL TRAVEL AT LEAST 60 MILES ON BUSSES
  • I THINK WE'LL GO SEE "THE FOURTH KIND".
  • CRADLE OF FILTH, RASPUTINA and... peaches (keep my girls kinky?)
  • ULTIMATE GUITAR WEBSITE HAS TABS. (but nowhere has tab for POWERKISS).
  • OH, POWERKISS BY THE KATIES.
  • I SEE MY FRIENDS EVERY DAY AND THEY'RE AMAZING.
  • OPERATION BEAUTIFUL.
  • SPOTIFY.
  • FRANK'S GONNA TEACH ME MORE ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY. He used to bring me photos of ponies when I was a child.
  • THE LADY I VISIT FOR COMMUNITY SERVICE LIKES HORSES.
  • I HAVE AN IPOD AND A NOTEBOOK.
  • I'M WORKING ON ANOTHER MIX TAPE.
  • I NEED TO GET SOME PYJAMAS, A HAIRCUT AND SOME PHONE CREDIT.
  • I GOT OUT MY BEST EVER SKINNY JEANS AND I'LL FIX THEM AND WEAR THEM.
  • I'M IN LOVE.
  • I'M READING THE TIME OF THE ANGELS BY IRIS MURDOCH AND IT'S AMAZING.
  • 50% OF MY GUILD WARS FILES HAVE DOWNLOADED SO THAT'S glass-half-full.
  • ELS, I HOPE YOUR kiss HALLOWEEN COSTUME WAS FUN.
  • MAYBE I'LL BUY SOME DOLL CLOTHES.
  • MY DAD SAID HE MADE MY BED FOR ME BEFORE I ARRIVED, SO I GUESS IT WAS HIM WHO ARRANGED MY BEANIE BABIES SO NICELY.
  • SPINERETTE ARE AN AWESOME BAND TOO! LISTEN TO baptised by fire.
  • I'M GOING TO THE CINEMA!
  • CHAZ CAME TO VISIT AND WE LISTENED TO farewell to kings THEN LEFT IT PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE BIZAREE TAKE-OFF NOISE IN cygnus x-1 RESOUNDED THROUGH THE HOUSE LATER IT WAS AMAZING.
  • MMM BUMBLE RABBIT IS LOVELY.
  • I HAVE AMAZING FRIENDS, I MISS THEM WHEN I'M NOT WITH THEM.
  • SEA THE STARS WON ALL THOSE RACES.
  • BASS LINES.
  • I HAVE ABJD AND MAYBE I'LL GET ANOTHER WHO KNOWS?
  • I GOT IN TOUCH WITH SOMEONE WHO USED TO COLLECT THE MODELS I USED TO COLLECT AND WE REMINISCED NERDILY.
  • MMM MAYBE I'LL WRITE SOMETHING. LIKE A ZINE,
  • MAYBE I'LL MAKE A ZINE ON SUNDAY.
  • FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN ITS... INTRINSIC VALUE.
  • I HAve HOMEWORK TOO BUT, IT'S OKAY..
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11/1/09 12:11 pm - ho-hum.

i've spent so long thinking and worrying about my own life that i only recently began to think enough about how the world will still contain so many good things even if for me, things went wrong. looking at my split up parents and the things that happen at my mum's house, i easily start to believe that my life will end up like hers. but i'm realising that whatever happens with my life, good or bad, there will still be so many things i love in the world; music, horses, people who smile back when you greet them in the street.

i don't think i'll write unhappy, introspective posts anymore; i've spent so much time trying to analyse how i feel about things, and that statement should be the last one. <3. it won't be, but i'm trying. i don't think that's how i want to live my life, always looking in.

half term... bumble seemed to be poorly but was okay, i loved the metro in paris, i spent halloween with nick, i'd better do my homework now before i go back to school tommorow. 1/12th of sixth form completed already (or will be after i write up these experiments etc...).

photos on my dA of F.Size.Free and Dissident Genro;



and some more.

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Current Music: the apples in stereo

10/26/09 05:45 pm - today & a doll query (help me!)

Today we went to Chatsworth house on a van trip. I like van trips - they are defined by long journeys to a place in my dad's van, then some kind of day out (VW rally, looking at stuff, even the zoo ^^), then the long ride home. There are sculptures at Chatsworth at the moment and they were quite interesting to look at, plus I also persuaded my sister to pose for some photos, which is no mean feat. I also got to borrow my dad's uber-power camera <3 However, I think I need more practice with it - what looked like nice, brightly coloured images to me on its screen are quite washed-out on the computer. It's a shame, there were one or two I thought would be really good >.>

My sister was really rude and at everybody all day, and when we got back my dad asked her to do something, no do it NOW please, ad she had a massive go at him for picking on her all day. Hmm, yes - he adores you, we're staying with mum but he's still taking you places, he bought you crappy things you wanted and now you can say that to him? I don't think I'd ever want a family >.>

On a totally unrelated note, can anybody recommend a good place to find CASUAL MSD BOY CLOTHES? I've searched DoA but most of the MSD stuff for sale seems to be complete outfits from Volks etc or for 'slim Mini' - i.e. MNF girls. It's all really pretty but boy clothes seem uber-hard to come by. I'm looking for simple things like jeans and shirts, maybe coats and jackets, in larger MSD sizes, without having to pay $30 for EMS. I'll post on DoA too (if I can work out which sub-board allows such things) and look at group orders (never attempted before) but any suggestions are very, very welcome.

For an Angel Fantasy 1/4 scale boy body, if anyone else anywhere actually owns such a thing.
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10/25/09 09:00 pm - holidays.

well, it's half term, but i'm not upto very much.
activities include homework (there's so much u_u), endless guitar tuning and perusing pictures of pretty julip ponies.

i'm glad it's the holidays. i was getting tired and i'm a little out of love with sixth form; partly i regret not taking english, but that doesn't seem to be the most of it. i'm just not enjoying it as much as i was. some of the teachers are still really good and i like their classes, but one or two just seem a little like they couldn't care less about us.

today's music: cradle of filth ( <3 sleepless & dream of wolves in the snow today), godsmack, MSI.

at least half the time i spend practicing the guitar i spend tuning it, so i was waiting for the day when i got good enough at this for it to sound good after i sit there picking at it. happily today i tuned it properly, all by myself. it isn't tuned to anything, but at least all the strings are in tune with one another. the celebratory anthem is the verses from wish you were here (i printed the chords from a beginners lessons website, which assumed the intro and chorus were beyond me and didn't include them in the printable). it makes me happy :3

things to do; make calic some clothes, pack for paris (two nights, we're going on the train, i have a new backpack to put all my things in, heh), moar homework, play much more guitar, listen, write more of the story i began a while ago, repaint some GC bodies i found in the attic :)
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10/21/09 10:11 pm - holy noes.

chaz and i just wrote a spoof fanfiction of trent reznor x james maynard keenan.
something to do with destroying fan-minds.
it's on facebook. publically. hell yes.

10/20/09 05:24 pm - kai writings.

( lists n things )
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10/18/09 07:02 pm - J-Con photos.

i've been sorting through my photographs from J-Culture Con, and they've made me feel a lot better about it. i'm still quite upset about the bad parts, but looking at all the pictures of the people who were just there cheered me up a lot. there were so many amazing cosplays, confident people, friendly people; it seems like i was exaggerating before and i was not, but i'd rather remember the good bits in the forefront of my mind and not dwell any further on the bad bits.

i might go back and delete that post actually. thanks you to the two people who commented, you guys really helped *loves on*.

anyway, the cosplay photos are almost all up now, and the band ones will probably come tommorow now. one or two to break the pattern of text entries;



 


come & take a look!
 
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Current Music: Rush

10/16/09 09:40 pm - precon excitemend :D

tommorow is J-Con!
my cosplay is complete, apart from one button on the collar which has gone missing >.>
i'll have to buy a new one in town.

plan;
get up & get ready;
pack & totally double check;
go to pick up the guys;
do nick's hair & makeup;
go to town;
buy a button, powder makeup, spray-dye for hair (black) & withdraw some spending monies;
queue for the convention!

rupi should be there from about 11; els i'm not sure about, she has a fast-track ticket which lets her in earlier than us anyway, so hopefully we can meet up with her early on if she wants :D

i plan to take lots of photographs; i might make myself a little sign tonight saying "can i take your picture?" or something, my big plan is to create a sort of photo catalogue. maybe i'll enter the cosplay contest, or maybe i'll photograph it. it's such a shame it's the last local con D:

things to remember;
charge camera tonight;
take camera;
money, bank card;
sign if made ^----^;
needle & thread;
veekins;
wooo!

i'm really looking forwards to it ^_______^
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Current Music: synth britannia

10/8/09 07:31 pm - autumn colours :3 (3/3 bumble-vee!)

last ones promises precious.


( TAKE IT! more veebun. )
 
Current Music: cradle of filth
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